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After all
the naysayers had spoken, she could still hear what her parents said: “Of course
you can.”
If You Can
Dream It
by Mary Engelbreit
St. Louis, Missouri
When my sons were little
and people asked them about their mom, they said, “She colors all day.” Their
reply still makes me laugh, because coloring is the kind of activity a lot of
adults might think strange. It’s right up there with dreaming. Dreaming, some
think, is a waste of time.
Good thing my mom and dad didn’t believe that. They
had a different perspective, one they passed on to me.
My mother claims I was drawing from the time I could
pick up a pencil. My early efforts weren’t all that different from those of
other kindergarten kids. But something happened when I was in the second grade
to change all that: I got glasses. Glasses with blue frames that curved up like
kittycat eyes and had sparkles in the corners. When I put them on, I couldn’t
believe it. “The trees have leaves!” I cried. My fuzzy world was brought into
focus, and I eagerly put down the tiniest details on paper. I had so much fun
that I started drawing a character who looked like me, with big glasses and
short hair, often wearing hats just as I did. I called her Ann Estelle, after my
maternal grandmother. And I imagined how she would go with me as I became an
artist and drew pictures that made people smile.
In elementary school I had been a good student, but by
high school my grades had dropped so drastically that I wasn’t allowed to take
art. I couldn’t wait to get out of school and pursue my heart’s desire—to
illustrate children’s books. I told that to my guidance counselor and she was
appalled. “You can’t do that,” she said. “You’ve got to be practical. Get a
degree in English so you can teach.”
When I graduated from high school I was ready to start
my life as an artist. I went to work at a local art supply store, where I
learned about different media and how to use them. More important, I got to know
all kinds of working artists. I realized it was possible to make a living doing
what I had always wanted to do, so I soaked up as much information and advice as
I could. Later, I learned a lot more at a tiny local ad agency called Hot
Buttered Graphics. When the owner moved out of town, I was 22 and on my own. Of
course there were people who thought being an artist was too unrealistic for
everyday life and often asked, “So, Mary, what are you really going to do?”
When I married Phil Delano in 1977 I was working as a
freelance artist, getting a little work here, a little work there. We lived from
check to check on Phil’s social worker’s salary so I could continue to draw. But
even when finances were tightest, Phil never pressured me to get a “real” job. I
did feel pressured, though, to go to the big city. “You can’t stay here and
expect to succeed,” I was told. “You’ve got to try to sell your work in New
York.” I was just so hopeful that I could make it as an artist, and I felt like
it was going to happen.
Phil had a friend in New York City who helped me set
up some interviews with several children’s book publishers. So in 1977, I
anxiously took off with a bulging portfolio for the Big Apple.
Editors all liked my work, but they almost never hired
freelance or out-of-town book illustrators who didn’t already have an
established name. One art director, though, did suggest I try greeting cards. At
the time I was kind of crushed, because I really had my heart set on
illustrating children’s books, and to me, greeting cards seemed like a step
down.
Then I thought of my parents, and the faith they had
had in me right from the beginning. I remembered when I was nine years old, and
hurried home to tell Mom that I had met my first real artist. She was a woman
who sometimes baby-sat for us and had her own studio set up in her basement.
“Mommy,” I announced, “I need a studio.”
Mom
didn’t say, “Honey, we don’t have space for you to have anything like that”
(which we didn’t). She merely nodded matter-of-factly as though my request made
perfect sense—and emptied our linen closet. Out went the vacuum, mops, and
towels, and in went my desk, chair and pen-and-ink set. I sat crammed in there
for hours, learning how to draw by copying the illustrations from my mother’s
and grandmother’s old-fashioned storybooks and signing my work with my very
convenient initials, ME.
From that time on my parents always treated my art as
serious business. Bolstered by their support, I continued on even without formal
training, telling myself over and over what they had instilled in me: “Of course
you can become an artist. Keep working for it. If you can imagine it, you can
achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.”
So, back from New York, I picked up my colored pencils
and got to work. When I really thought about it, I realized my one-shot
illustrations were perfect for greeting cards. At the risk of sounding like a
Pollyanna, I can hardly think of a disappointment that you can’t eventually turn
into a good situation. So I found myself doing what I had done since childhood,
illustrating those wonderful little moments of life . . . what was outside my
window and inside my heart.
From all those classic children’s books I had copied
as a child, I had learned the technique of pulling a key line out of the text
and illustrating it. Into my mind came words I had overheard long before, when a
young friend was being lectured by his father. “Son,” the father said
grandly, “here’s a lesson you might as well learn right now: Life is not just a
chair of bowlies.” I created a design based on this scrambled-up phrase, took it
to a greeting card company, and “Chair of Bowlies” became my first nationally
distributed greeting card.
Excited by continuing sales, I turned to a treasure
trove of quotes I had collected through the years, from philosophers, friends
and strangers. I’ve always been interested in what makes people act the way they
act, do what they do, or say what they say. I try to put that in my cards, and
to my delight, it is something that really seems to connect with people.
Sometimes I quote famous people like Ralph Waldo Emerson or Marcel Proust, or I
use verses from the Bible (for an upcoming book I’ve illustrated the Christmas
story in Luke). Other times, I draw inspiration from my family or from my own
life, remembering when my bossy tendencies as a child made me think, “It’s Good
to Be Queen.”
When my children were born—Evan in 1980 and Will in
1983—so was a whole new source of material. For instance, one day when Will was
eight, I was feeling overwhelmed. Sensing how flustered I was, Will tried to
comfort me. “I know what’s the matter, Mom,” he said earnestly. “You just want a
little peace of quiet.” I smiled, calmed down—and used his words for my next
greeting card.
My cards sold so well that in 1986 Phil and I formed
our own greeting card company, and things kept growing from there. Now, in
addition to greeting cards, Mary Engelbreit Studios produces calendars and
books, as well as everything from figurines and jewelry to notepaper and
T-shirts. We also have a national decorating magazine, Mary Engelbreit’s Home
Companion, a retail company and even our own Web site.
Inevitably, some critics snort and say my work is too
cute, too sweet, too good to be true. They just flat out don’t believe it. But
what I draw is taken from my life. I had a fantastic time as a kid. So, to
people who say, “You’re drawing an idealized world where you’d like to live,” I
say, “Of course I am. What’s wrong with that? Don’t you wish you lived there
too?”
Today my studio is only 10 miles from where I was
born—from where my parents encouraged a little girl to color away in a closet,
to use her imagination and dream her dreams. As far as I’m concerned, dreaming
isn’t a pleasant pastime, it’s a responsibility. We all have to do it, to bring
a sense of fun and wonder into our daily lives. And to be the best we can
become.
The above article originally appeared in the
October 1998 issue of Guideposts.
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